Feeling Forgotten

We all go through periods where things seem hopeless. Over the last 12 months since we arrived in the UK I began to feel increasingly as if God had simply forgotten about me. Having gone out to Manila the last time just after losing our home Church in the UK and having no time to fully feel part of another, we arrived in England a bit apprehensive about exactly where we belonged. 

Slowly over the past year all but £10 of our ministry financial support disappeared. We prayed earnestly for more to come but it didn’t seem to happen. We also knew that if we were to really make a diffence in Manila, grow our business and be generally more fruitful in helping people, we were going to need a vehicle. After Gibs returned To the Philippines the time seemed to drag on and our prayers still weren’t being answered. Time and time again God seemed to say ‘just wait, everything you have asked for is coming, just be still’.

This frustrated me, I began to get angry with God I asked ‘are you just saying you’ll provide in time, just to shut me up? Do actually plan to do any of the things you’ve promised?!’ This was not a great attitude! However it is a fairly normal human response and I can see now that God has continued to love me through it.
Gibs continued to look at vehicles within our budget, but was consistently dismayed by the state of the things he was being offered. cars with holes in the bottom, vans that didn’t lock. I had the money put aside to buy them…but they just weren’t right! 

One day last month I  was telling some wonderful friends of mine (who’s adventures you can read about at Four for the Road) about my predicament. They told me the story of their miracle car and declared in prayer that we’d find ours very soon too.

Then last week out of the blue Gibs sent me several pictures of a large 7 seater car, he had text the seller enquire and arranged to meet up to view…when he arrived at the meeting place he was surprised to be greeted by an old friend from the same village as him! He was offered a sizeable ‘mates rates’ discount and the car was much much better than any he’d viewed previously! I couldn’t believe it, I knew instantly that that was the one we’d been waiting for, the money was wired and the deal done! Within 48 hours the car was his! 

A few days later, we had the offer of half the support we would need to return to ministering in Manila and my flight costs (more on this in upcoming posts). So here I am humbly admitting, that despite my toddler like tantrums…God had never forgotten about me, he always planned to give me the things I needed! I have learnt much, made incredible friends and developed a deeper faith, while I’ve been waiting. It is often in these times that God is refining us, it’s often not comfortable or easy but it’s always worth it. 

We will be looking to do some fundraisers soon! We’d love to here if any one has some ideas! Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!


An Early Loss

This is only blog Post Number Three and I’m already about too tell the toughest story of my mission experience so far. I arrived in Manila In September 2012 and by the first week of October we had started two programmes for Children in the Local area. One of these was with the Children of an area called Dona Isidora’. This community all live in very close proximity too each other, in mostly makeshift housing and an some families even sharing communal bathrooms. As you can imagine the children of this area have strong bonds with each other some being almost like siblings.

During our sessions we would always learn a bible verse a week and there would be prize for who could remember the most. There was always one boy who won, he had an amazing memory and could recite without fail every verse we had learnt. He even won the big prize of a large transformer toy at the Christmas Party for reciting them in order at the front. 

On the morning of December 23rd, I was getting ready to do the laundry before Christmas when several Children burst through the garden gate and started yelling that there had been an accident…He’d been hit by car and was critically ill in hospital. He had been coming home at 5am from the traditional Christmas ‘night mass’ with his family and a friend. It was dark and seemed quiet, he released his friends hand and ran into the road. He was hit by a reckless underage driver going 120mph believing there would be no one on the road. His body was dragged along the road, he suffered extensive internal injuries and trauma to the skull. The young man who hit him thankfully did not run but drove him to the nearest hospital.

I threw on some clothes called Gibs and we rushed to the hospital. When I arrived I was shown to the emergency room and what I found there broke my heart. He was lying motionless on the bed with a nurse manually pumping air into his lungs. I asked the nurse what the prognosis was and she said his heart was working, but his brain was so damaged he could no longer breathe for himself. I sat in the chair next to his bed, took his hand, told him we were there and began too pray. As I was praying someone behind me exclaimed ‘he’s crying! Look!’. As I looked up I saw tears streaming from his eyes, and realised he could hear us. We assured him we loved him and would do everything we could for him. Only three people were allowed in at one time so we left to allow other members of his  family back in. 

As I left I asked about the medical bills, which as we were in a private hospital would be very expensive, it transpired that the driver was from a very wealthy family and they had offered to cover all the costs, including the impending move to an intensive care unit. That evening he was moved to the ICU where he was placed on a ventilator. He remained there for Christmas Eve whilst they continued attempts to get him to breathe for himself. Eventually after some scans the Doctor informed the family that in his view there was no chance of recovery and that they should consider removing the life support machines. So on Christmas Morning 2012 at just 8 years old his parents lost their only son. 

In keeping with Filipino tradition his body as brought home, as their house was so small it was displayed in an open top coffin under a marquee on the street. We went daily to visit the family and held a service in which the other children sang and shared memories of their friend and brother. He was buried in the new year with his beloved transformer toy and none of us have ever quite been the same since. 

It was this experience that really solidified our determination too keep supporting families in that community, to be a light when things get dark. I remember thinking how different things might have been if they had occurred in the U.K. An ambulance would have been called and been there within minutes, to avoid having to move the body and risk worsening the injuries. Medical bills would not have been something too be concerned about, no pressure to turn off life support until you are ready to do so, because it isn’t costing a years wages everyday. I see on the news the crisis in the NHS and the reports that It might fail. We need to support our Doctors and Nurses, and continue to petition our leaders to take care of our  national health service. 


A Long Walk to Nowhere

As promised in this blog I would tell some stories of times I have made a fool of myself and got it wrong. So here we go…

A few years ago when Gibs and I first started dating, we were attending a Church that needed a new building due to a growing number of attendees. One morning I declared ‘Honey…We need to go for a walk! I think God has told me we are going to find the new Church building today…I can feel it!’

Please note this was in the hight of South East Asian summer and I was proposing we walk around in 35° heat without knowing what I was looking for, or even what it looked like! However he responded immediately with ‘okay then, let’s go!’.

So we put on some sun hats and off we went, we walked, and walked, and walked….and walked some more. I was adamant that I’d know it when I saw it! After 3 hours, Our feet were filthy with the dust, our clothes were damp with sweat & and despite buying water along the way, we felt pretty dehydrated. We finally decided it was time to turn around and go home. We caught a bus back the way we came and I felt very silly. It’s the willingness and enthusiasm that counts right?

In view of my mistake you would expect that at some point Gibs would have said too me ‘I can’t believe you made me do that for nothing’ but he never did! That day was one of the first times I really knew that this was the man I wanted to do life with. He has never doubted me, even when I have crazy ideas he’s always ready to jump into the adventure. Even though I’ve been wrong in the past, he still believes in me everytime. 

If I could give advice to anyone who’s planning to do something they feel lead to do, it would be find someone too do it with. It could be a friend, a sibling, spouse, but someone who it’s safe to get wrong with. There is a saying “If you want too go quickly go alone, if you want to go far go together”.

Despite us being 6000 miles away from each other, Gibs still supports me in everything. Today happens too be his birthday, and he deserves to celebrated. So Happy Birthday Honey! Here’s to many more failed adventures together, and a few successful ones too!

FAQs on whether or not I’m Barmy

When people find out that at 18 years old I chose to decline an offer to study at the University of Chester, to travel to the Philippines and live my life to serve people there, the most frequently ask question is ‘Are you mad?’ Second is ‘Why would you do that?’

Well okay I’ll admit, its not really the norm, but I did it because I fully believed and still do that it was my purpose. When I was 13 Years old A missionary visited my church. I listened her speak about what she does and I knew in that moment thats what I needed to do with my life. That was what I was made for! So at 18 once I’d finished my A-levels I went and I spent almost 2 years working with the same missionary I met at 13 in her Children’s home The Philippine Outreach Centre.

This is me in my first week in Philippines with a new arrival to the Centre. I was much Thinner then!

Since then I’ve gone on to set up my own initiative in Manila A Promise Of Hope. Where we do our best to work with families in the slums of the city to love families in need. We hold regular kids clubs where we provide food for Street Children.

People often also ask Do you get paid for it?  When I tell them ‘no I do notthey ask ‘Aren’t you worried about money?’  Of course I wouldn’t be human If I didn’t worry, but in the last 7 years, I have never been short, I have always had food and shelter. Sometimes it’s come from places I’d never expect, other times we have just scraped by. (I will share many of these stories in future post). For the most part I have been self funded, I have come back to the UK too work and save and then returned to Manila. The one thing I will say is that since making the decision to do what I felt called to do, it’s been tough but God has never let me down, and has always provided.

Going back to the title question?…Am I Barmy? Probably a little, but not because of the life choice I’ve made. In this blog I will be sharing my stories, the good and bad, mistakes, failures and successes. In hope that I might inspire some people who feel inadequate to step out and make a difference.